Thursday, August 21, 2008

unwanted advances on the blue line

Submitted by: Amanda

I am still fairly new to to Toronto area. I have been living her just over a year, and I have already unfortunately realized that big towns are not the same as small towns, in so many scary ways. I had been living in Toronto for about 6 or 7 months when this happened.

A female friend of mine that I had not seen in a long time got a hold of me, and wanted to go out dancing at a club she liked. We went with one of our male friends, and had a blast. The same thing happened to me that has happened to too many of us. I was groped and grinded with, and followed around the bar, despite my very frank words, telling him to leave me alone. Even when my male friend stepped in, the guy just didn't back off. But that's not my story.

After leaving the club, my friends directed me to the right bus home, and insisted on riding it home with me, to make sure I was okay. I reassured them that I'd be fine, and got on the bus and left. I was on the Yonge bus, and then got off to transfer onto the Eglinton bus, going into Scarborough. I stood and waited at the stop with about 3 or 4 others, and an older man (maybe late 30's to early 40's) started making small talk with me about how long the bus always takes to get to that stop. I thought that he was just looking for some human interaction, so I politely spoke back to him, explaining that I, too, got frustrated when waiting for the bus sometimes. Then he started asking me about where I'd been, what I was doing, if I had a boyfriend, etc. I started feeling uncomfortable, but answered him anyway, assuming that since there were other people nearby, he wouldn't try anything.

Then he saw the bus and grabbed my hand in excitement, which immediately sent shivers through my body, and certainly not the good kind. I nicely tried to full my hand away, but he grabbed harder. I managed to wiggle my hand away, faking a smile, and got on the bus ahead of him. I sat in the seat closest to the driver, and stared out the window. Of course, the guy followed me and sat right beside me, continuing to talk to me. He then put his wrist on my knee. I was screaming inside but had never encountered anything like this before, so I just tried to ignore it, looked away from him, and give him really short answers in an irritated voice, hoping he'd get the drift and stop. He didn't stop, then then placed his hand on my upper thigh. I brushed his hand away, and after a minute or two, he did it again. He asked me where my stop was, and I told him it was soon. He grabbed my hand and told me thanks for talking to him, and that I was a really nice girl. I told him he was a nice guy too, and it was nice talking to him. Why I insisted on being nice to a creeper is beyond me, but I've been told a million times that I'm too nice, and have to be more rude in order to stay safe sometimes. The creeper then grabbed my face and shoved it into his, and shoved his disgusting tongue down my throat! I tried to put away, and he kept licking my lips and face. When I did get away, I looked at him in disgust and he said something like "oh, I'm sorry. Was that not okay?" And I told him no, I had a boyfriend, and it defintely was not okay. He appologized a million times, I rung the bell for my stop, said it was fine, and ran off the bus.

I then ran home, freaking out and worrying that maybe he'd get off at the next stop and follow me. The worst thing was that my boyfriend was gone for the night and I was home alone. I kept thinking that I heard the door open, and didn't sleep that night. I also used scope about 10 times, brushed my teeth literally until they bled, and had the longest shower of my life, unable to get clean. I called my boyfriend balling my eyes out, but he couldn't get home until the subway started, so he came home with flowers and a cute little stuffed turtle for me in the morning. I've never felt so violated in my life, and I hope that the guy felt aweful the next morning when he woke up and realized what he had done. It's men like him that make me feel unsafe walking at night in a turtleneck! Most aweful experience of my life.

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